Employing mental health stabilisers
By Memory
Previously, we tackled childhood trauma and how it affects men’s mental health. Boosting positive energy and nurturing a healthy mind is not a war one has to fight all alone. Having shared the problems, or by simply noticing that a friend, colleague, spouse or one’s child is exhibiting childhood trauma and battling retarded mental health, it is very thoughtful to render a helping hand and be the support system that they need, and not a barrier or an escalator to their already existing hiccups. In this article, I would like to concentrate on the support the innermost social circle can offer.
Keep communication as open as possible. The right way to show that one is being empathetic is to show and offer emotional support. Four words here; empathy, understanding, communication and emotional support are key to creating a conducive environment for a person who is mentally ill. (Remember, we can know that a person is mentally ill when they are chronically depressed, love solitude, heavy use of or reliance on social media and often the content they post starts being questionable, inactive in a social group, passive aggressive, low energy and worries, drug and substance abuse among other signs).
A parent cannot know what is going on in their teenagers’ love life if they do not communicate with them and offer advice. A number of youths are depressed because of heartbreaks or mere disillusionment along their academic and professional path. Likewise, a number of men, by the virtue of being providers, commit suicide when a blanket of financial setbacks gets heavy on the shoulders. Be more understanding; for example; do not add bills selfishly to suffocate already depreciating family resources. Offering emotional support in this context could be appreciating the husband, being a good financial steward and discussing extra means of generating income. Offer comfort and be a good cheerleader.
A tree naturally grows under good conditions; fertile soil, favorable climatic conditions and human care. However, for a human being, a conducive environment only paves way for better results but does not solely guarantee growth or change. Suffice to say, through self-awareness, one needs to be willing to play their part to accommodate and later reward the help being rendered. Cast your eyes on yonder and see the beauty lying in the near future, ask yourself what your purpose is. For example; to be financially stable and provide for the family. Then, refocus by putting aside everything that is demotivating.
The help being rendered from outside (words of appreciation, job or business strides etc) should be fuel to deal with the setbacks (debt, overspending, inadequacy etc). Good personality amid hiccups helps tame some negative thoughts or behaviors preventing one from forging ahead. Oprah Winfrey in her book; ‘The Path Made Clear’ emphasized on following one’s purpose.; “align your personality with purpose, the rest feels amazing”, “when one faces a detour, it is not the end of the road”.
Secondly, an iron sharpens an iron. Remember we are focusing on external stabilizers. It is hard to be of good help to others when one’s heart and mind is also not at peace. People give what they already have. Work on yourself and then radiate the aura. Let’s put it in a workplace context. A colleague who comes to the workplace exhibiting marital challenges would unconsciously or subconsciously make the workplace a living hell for others around them.
To successfully help another person, be of pure mind and intentions
They struggle with team work because back home collaboration died. The point is, to successfully help another person, be of pure mind and intentions. Put aside internal conflicts and noise to be able to extend an olive branch. Mohammed Ali said “service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth”.
Engage, professionally. Extend random compliments. Do not sell out confidence and composure in response to their being paranoid, aggressive and sick mannerism. However, learn the difference between a person who needs mental health help and a psychopath or narcissist lest you prescribe wrong drugs to the wrong patient.
Thirdly, a person offering help should exercise caution. Language use, environment and observe interpersonal communication skills. A person facing relationship problems is likely to feel unease and withhold information is approached over a four-couple-dinner date. Secondly, active and empathetic listening is key to comfortability and openness from the sharer and unlocks trustworthiness.
One therapist shared their moral-ethical code; “Do not be judgmental nor use swearing words or over-promise that the suggested route would work out.” Have an open-ended approach, offer options and be keen to keep one’s door open.
For people that are going through therapy, this article is only meant to complement recommendations given. Stabilizers could be prescribed drugs, new ways of living, diet, special exercises, books, new hobbies, personal or team behavioral reinforcements, avoidance learning, general advice given and so on depending on the issue at hand.
In conclusion, it is possible to be a brother’s keeper. Help without expecting anything, be trustworthy and a secret keeper. Most importantly, those that need help should be willing to be helped and change their perspective, and be more positive to attain robust mental health with sound judgment (rationale). An extra effort is required. “We know only too well that what we are doing is nothing more than just a drop in the ocean. But if the drop were not there, the ocean would be missing something” – Mother Teresa of Calcutta.